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Beauty Blogger NikkieTutorials Reveals: 'I'm Transgender'

by Kilian Melloy
Tuesday Jan 14, 2020
This screen cap shows Nikki de Jager, a.k.a. NikkiTutorials
This screen cap shows Nikki de Jager, a.k.a. NikkiTutorials  (Source:Nikki de Jager / YouTube)

YouTube makeup maven NikkiTutorials - also known as Nikki de Jager - had an important message for her fans on Jan. 13, when she came out as transgender in a YouTube video, reports CNN.

Saying that she was faced with blackmail by unidentified parties and that she wanted to share the news "under my own circumstances... today I am taking back my own power" in sharing the news.

Saying that the world is "full of labels," Nikki said she wanted to be "my own person" and to live "without any labels and without any restrictions."

"I want to start the year off with the truth... by finally revealing a part of my life that had made me who I am... a part of myself that makes me, me."

Adding that "it is time to let go and be truly free," Nikki went on to say, "I was born in the wrong body. With means that I am transgender."

Saying that making the video was "scary," the makeup master added that it was also "liberating and freeing."

"I've been wanting to share this side of myself to all of you for so long, but I could never figure out the timing," she went on to say. "And there always was gonna be the day where I would tell you. I did not expect that day to be today, but here we are."

Nikki went on to say: "If we are gonna put a label on it, yes, I am transgender. But at the end of the day, I am me."

Nikki shared that she had not addressed being trans on her youTube channel because she preferred to put the focus "on my art" rather than her personal story.

Before getting into the reason for the disclosure's timing, she stated that she wanted to "openly share that I am transgender, and with this message, I want to inspire little Nikkis around the world who feel insecure, who feel out of place, who feel misunderstood."

"This world needs us," Nikki went on to say. "We need to accept each other. We need to respect each other. But most of all we need to hear each other, and understand."

Nikki then went on to recount a story that those who listen to trans people will find familiar. Nikki said she knew from a very young age that she was a little girl, preferring toys and clothing associated with girls. That inner sense was not a phase, but an innate understanding of her gender identity, as opposed to the matter of physical plumbing.

Nikki related how teachers had been supportive, as well as some of her classmates, and spoke of the internal struggle around being different from others - not choosing it, but simply, innately being so. Nikki went on to describe how she undertook gender transition from a young age.

Later on, Nikki went on to say, she met a "special" man. Revealing that she is trans to him was frightening, Nikki disclosed, but he was accepting. Saying that she wanted to keep her private life private, she added: "Just know that we're working."

Nikki went on to encourage any of her audience members in a similar situation to offer full disclosure to the person they loved - but, she cautioned, only when "you know that you are in good hands... in safe hands."

Nikki then explained why she was making the announcement now.

"I've always wanted to share my story with you - I just wanted to do it under my conditions," the blogger said.

She went on to say, "I have been blackmailed by people that wanted to leak my story to the press. At first, it was frightening - it was frightening to know that there are people out there that are so evil that they cannot respect someone's true identity. It is vile, and it is gross...

"So, to the people who tried to blackmail me, and thought they could really mess up my life with that - this one's for you." With that, the makeup artist displayed a single middle digit, graced with a perfectly lacquered nail.

"Boy oh boy, are we starting off 2020 with a bang!" Nikki added.

Watch the YouTube video below:


Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Assistant Arts Editor. He also reviews theater for WBUR. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.


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